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THROW A GOING AWAY PARTY – FOR YOURSELF!

9/6/2017

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Moving to a new city? Trying to find a way to say goodbye to all your friends in the midst of a chaotic and stressful time? Consider throwing your own farewell party! An efficient way to say goodbye to many people at once, a goodbye party can give you a sense of closure and remind you of the great friends you have made. No matter the reason for the move – college, changing jobs, adventure – it is a great idea to celebrate one more time with people you have come to cherish. And the memories you make can provide the perfect encouragement and support as you settle in to your new home and life (when you are feeling down, remind yourself that you have made great friends in the past and will be able to do so in your new location). Here are a few things to consider as you put together your goodbye event:

Early preparation
Remember to give sufficient advance notice to ensure that the greatest number of those you care about will be able to attend. Early preparation will also keep you from feeling rushed in the midst of other last minute moving stresses. Whether you’ll have the party at a nearby bar or restaurant, your home, or a friend’s place, plan how you would like the event to unfold and set your guests expectations accordingly. Do you want them to arrive by a specific time? Or will the event be more of an open-house style party? To minimize your own stress, consider keeping the party casual so as not to add to an already hectic time.

Choice of food
Now to the fun part- the food! Homemade, pre-made, or catered, local-fare or perennial favorites, decide what will be easiest to arrange and what you will enjoy. You can even do a potluck and ask your friends to bring their favorite dish. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but ensure that you have plenty of food available for your friends and family.

Farewells
Your going away party won't be complete without opportunities to say goodbye or to send love and encouragement. You can write a toast (for those who enjoy public speaking!), arrange a slideshow, or set out a guest book for guests to write in. Let your friends know your new address as well as any other contact information that may be changing. Tell your friends how much you will miss them and ensure they know you really appreciate their coming to say goodbye. If you are someone who hates goodbyes, then consider messages that focus on appreciating who they are and making plans for when you’ll return to see them again (or have them visit you!).

A theme with a local feel
Having a theme with a local feel for your going away party is a great way to commemorate your time and memories there. Sports team memorabilia, local landmarks, and representations of your city or state (photographs, maps, knickknacks). While it’s not necessary to have decorations, having one or two items tying in to your soon-to-be former city adds a nice sentimentality to the party and celebrates your appreciation for your time there!

Before moving, you’ll want the opportunity to say your goodbye and thank friends for the role they have played in your day to day life. While you can see people one on one to say goodbye, in the midst of a move on a tight timeline, it is often most efficient to have a larger gathering to make sure everyone feels included. Ask a friend to help in planning the party or put together something on your own. No matter how you set things up, the memories made at the going away party will be a nice send off as you move in and settle into your new location.

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First Day at a New School Jitters: Deconstructing New Student Fears

8/24/2017

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Upcoming family move? Looking to help your new students through their first day at a new school? Addressing the Who/What/Where/When/Why of their concerns can go a long way in preparing them for their first day as well as helping them as they settle in during those first few months. Every student is different, so asking questions and listening to your child’s responses at each stage of the process is very important. Here are some common concerns and how to help address them:
 
WHO will I sit with at lunch? Will I be able to make new friends?
 
Often one of the top fears new students have concerns friendships and being lonely during those first days (especially during those first lunch hours!). Remind them of times in the past, whether joining a new sport or activity or starting school, where they made friends, and let them know that this new school will be no different. Encourage them to be friendly, smile, and take the initiative to approach others and introduce themselves. If they are concerned at lunch, help them create a plan to look for friendly faces around the lunchroom to approach. Also, ask their teachers if they might know of a welcoming student they could ask to show your child around that first week.
 
Additionally, have conversations with your children about what makes a good friend, so they can have that in their minds as they evaluate the friends they will be bringing in to their lives.
 
WHAT if the classes are harder here and I can’t keep up?
 
Some children worry about the academic transition and how they will perform at the new school. Making sure your child is placed in the right class levels can be challenging and may take some time to assess, but it is important to do so. Bring the old school’s transcripts and any testing results with you when you enroll your child in school. Work with the new school to find the right class placement. If you don’t believe your child has been placed at the right level, ask what your options are. For some schools, children may be able to test into higher levels or you may be able to touch base with the teacher in a month to see about re-adjusting placements. If you believe your child has been placed in the right level but is missing some foundational components due to the transition, look in to tutoring or online resources to allow him or her to catch up and not become discouraged.
 
WHERE am I going? What do I do if I get lost?
 
Take your child on a tour of their school before starting and walk with them to key rooms and locations. Assure your child that there will be friendly faces around to help. Tell them to reach out to teachers or to helpful classmates to ask if they are in need. Also, this is a likely a good time to have a conversation about how to identify ‘safe’ people. The old adage that strangers are bad can be a confusing and unhelpful concept for new students, during a time when everyone is a stranger. It is more important to teach them how to identify safe people.
 
WHEN does this start to feel more comfortable?
 
Assure your children that while it will take some time, each day they are making progress toward feeling more comfortable. It may take a few months to feel like home, but it will get there, even when it feels like it won’t. Encourage your children to think of three things that went well each day, no matter how small. Practice supporting them through the challenges of the transition while also guiding them to focus on the positive as well.
 
WHY did we have to move here in the first place?
 
Give them a hug. Then remind them that you know the move is hard on everyone, but that it was done for a good reason (a job, etc.). Move on from the “why” of it to describe what your family values and what is most important. Explain that you value being together and supporting one another to help them understand the broader context behind the move. Then let them know that they are loved and you want to do what you can to help them adjust to your new home.
 

First day nerves are natural and to be expected, but equipping your children with awareness and coping mechanisms to handle change will help get them through those first weeks (as well as aide them throughout future new experiences). For more resources to help your teen or pre-teen through a move, see The Essential Moving Guided Journal for Teens and The Essential Moving Guided Journal for Preteens.

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What is Relocation Stress Meltdown: Are Your Employees at Risk?

7/17/2017

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​Relocation Stress Meltdown. . . you may have heard of this “phenomenon.” You may have even heard stories of employees or their family members who have experienced it. Regardless of your initial knowledge on the topic, it is in your best interest to understand and guard against it striking employees at your company.
 
What is Relocation Stress Meltdown?
Coined years ago by the Transition Management Group, Relocation Stress Meltdown (RSMx) describes the mental and emotional struggles and anxieties that often accompany a relocation from one area to another, whether it be intra-state, intra-country, or internationally. Organizations are increasingly beginning to understand the importance of addressing this negative side effect of moving.
 
How can you identify the signs of RSMx? At times, it is in the anxieties and insecurities that inevitably occur before a move such as sleepless nights, sadness, or regret. But what people often don’t realize is that RSMx can last for up to a year after a move is complete.  Professionally, employees (or by extension, a member of his/her family) who are suffering from RSMx can experience a variety of negative issues inside the workplace. From distraction to absenteeism, to attitude and leadership lapses, RSMx is not easy to isolate, and its impact expands across all areas of the lives of those undergoing it.
 
While similar to anxiety in some respects, the core of RSMx is grief. Moving stimulates feelings of loss. To grieve is natural and expected. Depending on the circumstances accompanying a move, your executives may have a member of their family suffering from some degree of RSMx before or after moving for your organization, which can subsequently affect that employee as well. And it is in both your and your employees’ best interest to know how to deal with it.
 
Addressing RSMx and Helping Employees and Their Families Adjust
Beyond the negative impacts mentioned above, the main concern for HR and other hiring organizations is to help mitigate any regret their employees may have regarding an upcoming or recent relocation for the company. While many relocation benefits packages are designed to help with the upfront logistics of moving (e.g. moving companies or monetary stipends), the settling in process (which, as mentioned before, can take up to 12 months) requires emotional and mental support as well. After the boxes are unpacked and the kids are enrolled in school, the challenging part is not over. For many, it is just beginning. The mental and emotional impact of moving is frequently overlooked, but can make a huge impact long-term.
 
Moving can often be more emotionally challenging than people anticipate. But before we paint moving in a solely negative light, there are also a lot of positives to moving that can help fend off or fight RSMx such as new opportunities, a fresh start, and unchartered adventures. Correspondingly, having an awareness of the challenges that may lie ahead is helpful. But most importantly, being equipped to handle these challenges when those sad feelings arise is critical to a successful and healthy move.
 
This is where HR can have a real impact on the success of employees who are relocating. Creating a relocation benefits process and package that minimizes the stress placed on the executive and his/her family will be paramount to ensuring a successful move over the long term. Design a package that fits the needs of your employees and addresses the key components at each stage of the relocation process. Consider these essential areas as you design and refine your relocation benefits:

  1. Logistics: From packing, movers, and unpacking to storage and temporary housing, helping employees with these initial moving headaches can go far in allowing them to have a seamless move logistically.
  2. Housing: Housing is often, understandably, a key immediate area of concern for many. Providing a realtor, closing cost coverage, down payment assistance, and (for very high-level executives) a guaranteed buy-out can help persuade leadership to go forward with a move.
  3. Geographic orientation: Helping your employees and their families get to know an area sets a foundation for steps they can take to start to make this new city feel like ‘home’. Give them a tour, answer questions, or provide local guidebooks on topics of interest (restaurants, hiking trails, etc).
  4. Emotional/Family support: The most salient and often overlooked assistance you can provide is support or resources for the employee and family at each step of the settling-in process (e.g. care packages to provide them with the information to ‘help’ themselves along the way, access to “newcomers” groups, and career help/placement for trailing spouses, etc.)
  5. Cultural (if applicable): Critical for successful international placement, additional components for each of the above categories are needed for an international relocation.  Additionally, books, cultural acclimation courses or coaching, and a primer in the language for the destination country are often necessary to set up relocators for a healthy and happy move.
 
The more comprehensive and thought-out your relocation package is, the better you can guard against RSMx for your moving employees. Whether in-house or outsourced, design a formalized plan on how to set your leadership and their families up for emotional and mental success as they relocate.

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Top Five Myths About Moving With Teens

6/27/2017

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As we continue with our “Moving Myths” series, let’s take a look at relocating with teenagers. Just the idea might cause you to shudder. Teens are at a unique place in their lives: trying to express their independence while still needing the security and guidance of family. Apprehension and discomfort usually accompany the topic of moving with teens, but teens move everyday, and with a bit of time and effort, their move can be done in a way that minimizes the negative impact.

 
Myth #1: Moving a teenager will be too upsetting for them to handle.
 
Many teens move successfully every year. It’s important to remember that each situation is unique. While the disruption to friendships can feel more severe for teens than for younger children, some teens welcome a fresh start. Even for the many teens who find the move to be very challenging and upsetting at first, parents who listen and involve them in the decision making process as well as encourage them to express and process their feelings can help shorten the adjustment time. And there are many benefits to moving that will help them going forward: learning to adapt and adjust, experiencing new places and opportunities, and practicing having a positive mindset can be helpful skills and shaping experiences for teens. It is important though to keep an eye out if your teen is struggling and to seek out a counselor if they are experiencing depression or could benefit from further coaching in adapting to change.
 
Myth #2: It will hurt your teen’s transcripts and college admission to move while in high school.
 
While any sort of disruption in academics leading up to college applications presents challenges, preparation allows for a move that will not affect college admission potential. Organize each school’s information as well as the grading scales and course loads. Once your teen begins to fill out college applications, in as concise a manner as possible, provide relevant information to allow the admissions team to understand each school in its own context. Don’t rely on them to figure it out on their own, provide both sets of transcripts along with the background on how each school’s gpa scale is set up and any other differing requirements or information. We’ve spoken with college admissions counselors and they all reiterated that a move in high school should not affect an applicant’s chances of acceptance. What will have a negative impact for moving teens is a confusing and unexplained set of dual transcripts. Take the time to lay things out in a clear manner for the admissions team and your teen will be on even ground with his or her non-relocating peers.
 
Myth #3: The school will correctly and fairly transfer over your teen’s transcripts—let them handle it.
 
Your involvement in the transfer process is critical and taking a hands-off approach is one of the most common mistakes parents of teens make. A hastily done transfer process can be very discouraging for teens and can also negatively affect college admissions. Organize each school’s requirements to see how the grading scales and course loads align. Be actively involved in the transfer process to ensure a fair and accurate transfer of classes and grades. Compromises will need to be made for classes that do not have an exact match in the new school, but your involvement will show your teens that their previous hard work and efforts are not forgotten. Once enrolled, work with your teen to identify gaps early on and address them via additional study or tutoring so your teen can catch up on any topics necessary. Touch base with your teen and their teachers a few weeks in to see how placement has gone and if any adjustments need to be made.
 
Myth #4: If you move while your teen is in high school, they should stay behind.
 
Consider all aspects of having a teen in their senior year stay behind. Involve them during the decision-making process and factor in college decisions and your family’s circumstances. There are good reasons to consider allowing your teen to remain behind to finish their senior year, and there are equally good reasons to have your teen accompany your family to your new location. Work with your teen to weigh the benefits and challenges as well as to map out all necessary potential logistics (where would they stay, how would they get around, who pays for various bills, what are the ground rules regarding curfew, etc.). After a thoughtful discussion you and your teen will have a better feel for what may make the most sense for your current situation. While a senior year move may be disruptive socially, some teens find that it is nice to ultimately make friends in the new area so that when they are home from college in the summers they have friends nearby to see.
 
Myth #5: If your teen becomes sullen or difficult, you should be worried.
 
Throughout the move, while you should certainly be mindful of indications of depression, remember that grieving the loss of their old life is natural and each will process this in their own way. Often times being difficult is how teens respond to a situation that is uncomfortable and out of their control. Listen to understand where you can help and where you can give them control. Whether it is having them join you in the house hunt, helping to select their school, picking or decorating their new room, or weighing in on timing and their needs, involving teens is critical. Allow them to have their voice heard and to process in their own way. That being said, if you believe that your teen is struggling and would benefit from counseling, do not hesitate to seek out professional help. Moving is an adventure but is also jarring, and teens may benefit from talking with someone who can equip them with healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with change.
 
For more information on moving with teens, check out The Essential Moving Guide For Families and The Essential Moving Guided Journal For Teens.

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Top Five Myths About Moving With Kids

4/4/2017

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Perhaps it was to a new city for a new job, or across town to a new house, or maybe even to a new country seeking new adventures . . . each year, millions of us relocate our lives to new areas to embrace new opportunities and new beginnings. When you add family into the picture though, moving becomes even more of a challenge. There are many pre-conceived notions of how moving will affect children, so we wanted to debunk a few of the commonly held mistaken beliefs about relocating with kids:

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Myth #1: I’ve heard it’s best to move in time to start your children on the first day of the school year.
 
We hear this from parents all the time, and they are often surprised to hear that this isn’t always the case. Starting a child on the first day of school ensures that he/she doesn’t miss anything academically and may also be necessary to meet various try-out deadlines for sports teams and other extra curricular pursuits. However, depending upon each child’s situation, starting after the first day often makes for the smoothest social transition. On the first day students are excited to re-connect with their classmates and catch up on the summer. They are less aware of new students and thus less inclined to reach out to befriend them in those first days. After a few weeks, once the initial excitement has died down, new students often have an easier transition time socially. Additionally, starting a student a few weeks in to the school year often doesn’t put them that far behind academically. Clear breakpoints in the school year can also be a good time to transition as well. That being said, each student is unique and each school has it’s own way of transitioning new students, so take the time to research and talk out the options.
 
Myth #2: Kids are resilient, they’ll be just fine.
 
Moving is listed as one of the most stressful life events for kids. This does not mean it cannot be done in a healthy way, but it does necessitate understanding and acknowledging the mental and emotional challenges kids experience during and after relocation. Moving puts children in a position where their lives and routines are uprooted without any say on their part. This tumult and lack of control can combine to create anxiety or sadness. The good news? It has been shown that parents who take an active approach to their child’s emotional transition can mitigate many of the negative impacts of moving (that’s the foundation of what we are all about here at EES!). And moving does bring with it some benefits as well!
 
Myth #3: Kids have it the hardest during the move.
 
On the flip side of things, we can often worry so much about your children’s adjustment that we overlook ourselves or our partner’s transition. The trailing spouse (the spouse whose job did not necessitate the move) also faces unique challenges during a family relocation. Often the trailing spouse uproots his or her life and moves to a new area without a built in community to join upon arrival (which a job or a school offers to the other spouse and to their children). The trailing spouse needs to ensure that they take care of their own needs (like building out a support network) even in the midst of supporting the family’s transition. It’s critical that the parents work to mutually support one another.
 
Myth #4: The kids don’t need to concern themselves with the move, it will be easiest if we take care of it all.
 
Having their lives flipped upside down can be very unnerving for kids. Your goal, as parents, is to listen to them and support them. Ways you can actively help them deal with the move include involving them throughout to give them a sense of control over parts of the situation. From house hunting to bedroom decorating to researching the area or exploring the new neighborhood, find small ways to involve them to make it feel more like an adventure.
 
Myth #5: The school will take care of placing the kids in to the correct classes and identifying curriculum gaps.
 
Schools have their own systems and may overlook your previous district’s assessments so it is important to take the time to understand the new school’s placement system and to touch base regularly both with your child and with the new teachers to ensure proper placement. While it may be time-consuming to do so, go through the assessment process with the new school. Bring all previous records, make a case for what you believe the correct placement to be, and monitor how your child adjusts once settled in to classes. Get to know their teachers, and find out next steps if your child has been misplaced. Identify any curriculum gaps with them and touch base to see if others arise. From there you can figure out how to best address these gaps (tutor, teacher, parent, self study). Relocating should only temporarily disrupt your child’s academics and, with a little time and effort, should be easy to overcome as your child begins to settle in to the new school system.
 
Moving with kids can be a challenge, but can also be a great chance for new adventures and new opportunities. The key is knowing what to expect as well as informing and involving yourself as parents to support your child through the transition. For more information on moving with kids, check out The Essential Moving Guide For Families. 

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Top Five Myths About Moving To A New City

3/1/2017

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Believe it or not, relocation has been dubbed one of the more stressful events that can take place in a person’s life - coming in just behind divorce, the loss of a spouse and imprisonment. It can be, simultaneously, the source of great excitement and opportunity as well as anxiety and pressure. Oftentimes adults are required to move for a job; other times it is the result of a desire for adventure or a new environment. Regardless of the impetus of a move, there are many beliefs and claims about relocation that are often inaccurately misrepresented.

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Myth #1: I’m an adult, moving shouldn’t be emotionally difficult.
 
This could not be any more inaccurate. Uprooting our lives, social circles, and routines is jarring for movers of all ages. It is tiring process to re-establish oneself again in a new environment with a new job and new friends. Feeling emotionally strained is entirely natural and to be expected, whether you are 17 or 70. The important takeaway here is that it is also temporary. Relocation is an adjustment, but it does get easier as you get acquainted with your new job, make a new circle of friends, hobbies, etc.
 
Myth #2: Saying “goodbye” is for the sentimental. I’m too busy for goodbyes.
 
You don’t want to leave with any regrets. Visit those familiar places and old haunts one last time. Set aside time to see those important people in your life whom you might not see again for a while. This will give you the opportunity to tell people that you will miss them and for you to hear that you’ll be missed also. Keep this as a reminder of the happy life you are capable of building as you move forward (especially when things feel unsettled). If your time is tight, consider planning a gathering to see many people at once. Who doesn’t love a reason to get together and celebrate you, right?
 
Myth #3: If things don’t feel like home within a few months, I might have made a mistake moving here…
 
Wrong! Typically, it takes around 12 months to adjust to major life changes like a move. In that first year, feeling uncomfortable or ‘not at home’ is to be expected and is part of the process. Don’t become discouraged if it’s taking you longer to adjust to your new surroundings. Be open to new experiences and new things and take every feeling of doubt with a grain of salt. These things take time.
 
Myth #4: We’re all adults here. There’s no reason that others won’t immediately welcome me in to their circles and help me.
 
We wish this were true, but this too isn’t always the case. Even as adults, we all have our own personalities and ways of dealing with our own stresses or discomforts. A ‘new person’ temporarily disrupts the status quo, and that can be unsettling for some. How people respond to the ‘new person’ varies but can usually be bucketed in to five categories:
  1. Welcoming
  2. Shy
  3. Polite but Disinterested
  4. Needy
  5. Threatened
 
As the saying goes: “People will hate you. People will love you. And none of it has anything to do with you.” For lack of a better phrase, everything takes time. And the same goes with making new friends and establishing new social connections.
 
Myth #5: I don’t plan to be here very long, so I’m not going to get too involved.
 
You are not a fortune-teller. You cannot know where you will be in one year or even five years from now. Deciding not to put in the effort doesn’t save resources or the discomfort of saying goodbye; rather, it can make your relocation feel more uncomfortable and prolong any loneliness or feelings of insecurity that moving might bring. Don’t be afraid to be open to your new environment and experience. You might find that you really enjoy it!
 
If you can tough out the feelings of instability, discomfort and even loneliness that are sure to accompany any relocation, you will, eventually, feel normal again and find your routine and happiness in a new place. Relocation is a challenge, but it is also exciting and filled with new opportunities that are waiting for you to find them!
 
For more on what to expect when you are moving, check out our book: The Essential Moving Guide.

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Ensuring The Success of Relocated Employees

2/7/2017

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Investing in your employees is critical to supporting their productivity, loyalty and long-term employment. In its training course on Employee Engagement, The Dale Carnegie Leadership Program states, “The one thing that creates sustainable competitive advantage – and therefore ROI, company value and long-term strength – is the workforce, the people who are the company. And when it comes to people, research has shown, time and again, that employees who are engaged, significantly outperform work groups that are not engaged.” While this is essential throughout an employee’s career with your company, it is especially important when an employee is beginning a new role.
 
It is popularly accepted that the first 100 days are incredibly important when beginning a new job. But did you know that setting employees up for success begins before they even walk through your door? In today’s tight talent market, hiring often requires relocating the right people to wherever their skills/expertise are needed most. While this provides opportunity for both an employee and the parent company, it also brings with it disruption: upheaval to the employee’s life as well as to his or her family.
 
Even when done voluntarily and enthusiastically, moving can often be emotionally stressful (along with physically and financially straining!). Most organizations recognize the immediate stress and provide financial and logistical help during this time. Lightening the financial and logistical load frees an employee’s mind to focus more fully on his/her new role. However, the emotional aspects of the move can be just as taxing and even longer lasting. Companies must acknowledge how crucial employee emotional and mental wellbeing can be both on the business’s bottom line and also on employee retention. These less tangible stressors can have the most impact on an employee’s long-term success and therefore are vital for a company to address and support.
 
This is even more true for employees who relocate with their families, as each member shoulders their own emotional and mental stressors that ultimately impact the family unit as a whole. When a member of the family suffers, so will the employee. According to the 2015 Worldwide ERC US Transfer Volume and Cost Survey, the top source of stress and reluctance to relocate is "family resistance to the move." Employees notice and care when you take a genuine interest in them and in their family’s happiness and success.
 
The ultimate goal for any relocation is to ensure that employees are able to handle the transition into their new role without the turmoil that can accompany a job relocation in a new city. Unhappiness and stress can lead to increased disengagement, distraction, and result in subpar work; with disengagement, both employee morale and retention suffer.
 
From providing resources and advice regarding the emotional aspects of adjustment, to offering geographical introduction tours and newcomer groups, to having mental wellness experts available, your company can transform its relocation package, setting itself apart by truly supporting its employees throughout the tangible and intangible transitions. This investment pays off immensely both in the short and long run. By supporting and alleviating not just the logistical and financial elements, but also the highly impactful emotional stressors of moving, you will be employing a truly comprehensive program to set employees up for ultimate success within your organization, and also setting the stage for a culture that is responsive and welcoming.
 
Providing access to emotional and mental guidance and resources for employees means more than having therapists available for a quick call, it means equipping each relocated employee with the information he or she needs to help themselves and their families adapt to change. This should yield an improvement in their mental health and a reduction in their overall stress. Their families will see an improvement in wellbeing and happiness as well. Companies benefit by an increase in productivity, employee loyalty, and overall company ROI. Investing in the support of all aspects of an employee’s relocation is truly one of the most resourceful financial decisions a company can make. 

(For more information on resources and kits to equip relocating employees with advice and guidance on adjusting to the emotional aspects of relocation for themselves and their families, check out Essential Engagement Services.)

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Top 10 Books To Help Kids During a Family Move

1/4/2017

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Moving with kids? From the initial unknowns and ‘what if’s,’ to the jolt of watching all your things disappear in to boxes, to the disruption of patterns and day to day comforts, there is much about moving that can introduce uncertainty in to a child’s life. Setting expectations, asking and answering questions, and quickly creating new routines can go a long way to helping alleviate the pain of a move. As can helping your child to view the move as an adventure—which is sometimes easier done through the eyes of a fictional character or two. . . . 
1) The Berenstain Bears' Moving Day by Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain
​This classic has stood the test of time, remaining a go-to resource for kids going through their first family move. The Berenstain Bears thoughtfully present the challenges and anxieties accompanying a move and provide kids with a starting point to ask their own questions. 
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​2) Alexander, Who's Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going to Move by Judith Viorst, Ray Cruz and Robin Preiss Glasser
​From the author of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, this book explores Alexander’s anger and frustration after being told by his parents that they will be moving. With humor and candor, Viorst tells the tale in an entertaining and relatable way while opening the door to discussions on how to handle feelings and emotions in a healthy way.
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3) Boomer's Big Day by Constance W. McGeorge 
Boomer, the loveable family dog, struggles to understand what is happening as he watches his family’s belongings get packed up and loaded on a truck. Readers follow along as Boomer goes through the stress and anxiety of a move and ultimately enjoys exploring his new home. Accompanied with heartwarming illustrations, this sweet tale is sure to speak to your young children and to help them understand moving in a sympathetic and relatable way.
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​4) My Very Exciting, Sorta Scary, Big Move: A workbook for children moving to a new home by Lori Attanasio Woodring
This workbook walks kids through the moving process, engaging them in questions, activities, and suggestions to help them deal with change and the emotions that come along with it. Also available in Spanish, this book helps provide your children with coping mechanisms while entertaining them along the way.
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​5) My Best Friend Moved Away by Nancy Carlson
Told from the perspective of the friend that stays behind, this is a great tale to help your child understand how a move impacts everyone or to give to friends your child is leaving behind to help them with the process as well.
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​6) Max's Moving Adventure Coloring and Activities Book: A Coloring Book for Kids on the Move by Danelle Till (Author), Joe Spooner (Illustrator)​
A coloring book accompanied by activities and topics to help entertain kids as well as guide them through the moving process. The activities and coloring are geared toward older kids versus the very young. Your 7-10 year old will find Max’s Moving Adventure engaging and helpful throughout the move.
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​7) Big Ernie's New Home: A Story for Children Who Are Moving by Teresa Martin​
For kids in preschool and kindergarten, this cute tale is told from the perspective of the worried family cat. Read it to your child before the move to help them prepare, ask questions, and relate to Ernie’s concerns.
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​8) Inside Out: Inside My Mind: A Book About Me!       
Disney’s Inside Out tells the story of pre-teen Riley, her cross-country move, and the emotional struggles that follow. Some children enjoy this movie while others may find the topic to be a bit too heavy. You should watch the movie in advance to decide if it is appropriate for your child. Beyond the movie, take a look at Inside Out themed resources like the workbook Inside My Mind for a helpful guide to walking children through the idea of emotional awareness.
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9) Moving Day! (Helping Hands Series) by Jess Stockham
Looking for a simple way to break down the pieces of a move (logistically at least) so that your child will know what to expect and how they can help? A simple and digestible portrayal of how a move occurs for younger kids (aged 2-5).
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10) Ira Says Goodbye Paperback by Bernard Waber
Geared toward kids age 4-7, this heartfelt book looks at moving through the eyes of a child and offers up hope and encouragement during tough times of transition. It’s an older book but has stood the test of time.
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11 Holiday Gifts For Friends Who Are Moving Away

12/1/2016

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Tis the season! If you have friends who have a big move coming up, here are some thoughtful gifts they’ll be sure to enjoy. . . .
 
1) State prints

A beautiful print to remember home. There are a variety of different styles and options available, so check them out and find the perfect one for your friend.
(Displayed here: https://www.amazon.com/Custom-Alabama-ANY-STATE-Customized/dp/B01JB80SUI?ref=hnd_dp_car_mba_7)
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​​2) State necklaces

 
A near-to-the-heart reminder of home so your friend can take a bit of home with her wherever she goes.
​(Seen below: http://www.dogeared.com/necklaces-state-of-mind)

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​3) Key ornaments
 
Yes, you’ll need to get ahold of one of their spare keys, but what better memento than a cute (small and storage friendly) ornament to remind them each holiday season of their old home.
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​4) Miss you mugs
 
One for you, one for your friend. And a nice ‘miss you’ message when you finish your drink.
(Available from https://www.etsy.com/listing/203597810/state-or-country-miss-you-coffee-mug)
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​5) Journal
 
A sweet ‘missing you’ reminder as well as a practical gift to help that creative friend journal his/her adventure.
(Shown: https://www.etsy.com/listing/228928316/goodbye-gift-winnie-the-pooh-notebook?ref=market)
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6) City guide books
 
There is no better way to prepare for a new adventure in a new city than to start to plan and read up on it. Whether a general city guide for a broad overview or topic-specific guides on topics like good restaurants or hiking trails, give your friend a look at their new destination and wish them well.
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7) Picture frame
 
Find a great picture of you both together, put it in a nice frame, and gift your friend a classic and thoughtful gift for them to remember you by!
(Example shown: https://www.amazon.com/Malden-International-Designs-Friends-Expressions/dp/B0018MR66K/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1479409961&sr=8-3&keywords=friends+picture+frame)
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8) Local treats
 
A great reminder of home and one of the many things that make it wonderful, specialty items add a personalized touch to your goodbye gift and give friends a bit of the city to take with them.
(Shown: http://www.garrettpopcorn.com/all-gifts.html)
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9) Group signature items
 
Looking for a group gift for a co-worker/team member/good friend? Look no further than a cute or nostalgic item that you can have everyone sign with their well-wishes.
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10) Throw them a going away party!
 
What better way to convey how much someone will be missed than to gather everyone together, in one convenient location, to wish your friend well!
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11) Miss you a ‘latte’
 
For that friend who loves their coffee or tea. . . .
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And if your friend loves to read, don't forget to send them off with a copy of The Essential Moving Guide (or, for those with children, The Essential Moving Guide For Families), along with our great guided journal, The Essential Moving Guided Journal.
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Top 10 Books and Movies To Help Your Teenager When Your Family Moves

11/1/2016

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When teens start at a new school after moving to a new city, the disruption they feel to their social and academic worlds can create discomfort and angst. While there is no ‘perfect’ way to help them through it, where and when you can, provide them with the coping mechanisms that will help them during times of change. Communicate your own thoughts and feelings, and be there to listen to them if they want to talk. Here’s a list of resources to help them by providing advice, guidance, a sense of camaraderie, and, of course, entertainment.

1) 10 Dos & Don'ts When You're The New Kid - A survival guide for teens starting at a new school by J. C. Tilton
Funny, honest, and direct, this guide is filled with advice and suggestions for being the new kid in high school. Teens can learn a lot from this useful and entertaining book. Perfect for the teen who is open to advice (though may not want to hear it only from parents!) and who prefers practical non-fiction to novels.
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2) How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls by Donna Dale Carnegie
Often the greatest challenge of moving for teens is making friends. As parents, you want your kids to choose the right friends who will be a positive influence. Though designed for teen girls, this book is consistent with the classic Carnegie-style practical advice meets examples and real life stories that engages readers and makes for a memorable teacher. Topics covered include clear and positive communication as well as how to diffuse arguments and admit mistakes. This is one book that will not only benefit your teen daughter during the move as she makes friends, but also help her in the future as well.
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​3) The Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume
No list of teen books dealing with life’s adolescent challenges is complete without mention of a Judy Blume book. Tony, the male protagonist, will speak to the struggles of many teens, no matter their gender. Tony’s family moves to a wealthy suburb. He struggles to make friends and adjust to this new world as he simultaneously deals with the challenges of everyday life as a teenager. Realistic and relevant, this story has stood the test of time and surely will for years to come. If your teen likes novels, he/she will enjoy relating to and learning from Tony’s experiences.
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4) Arrivals, Departures and the Adventures In-Between by Christopher O'Shaughnessy 
For the international relocator, this book is a well-written and humorous recollection of international moves, the challenges they bring, and the benefits of experiencing them. For cross cultural transitions, this book is filled with stories, adventures, and insights that your teen will enjoy (and perhaps come to relate to).
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5) The Essential Moving Guided Journal for Teens by Sara Elizabeth Boehm
For teens who prefer to journal, this guided journal of prompts allows teens to process and reflect on their experience before, during, and after moving. Prompts focus on awareness, planning, appreciation, and initiative, reminding teens to pay attention to their feelings while guiding them to look outside themselves for how others in their family may be feeling and to concentrate on what is also going well in life, no matter how small. For parents who aren’t sure what to discuss or how to guide their teen, this journal does a nice job at providing a gentle roadmap.
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6) Expat Teens Talk, Peers, Parents and Professionals offer support, advice and solutions in response to Expat Life challenges as shared by Expat Teens by Dr. Lisa Pittman and Diane Smit
Topic-based coverage that discusses subjects ranging from academic worries to drugs and alcohol, this book speaks to each area from the perspective of other teens, parents, and professionals who work with teens. Teens who like straight talk and who value others perspectives will appreciate the upfront and direct nature of this book, and parents will appreciate the book as a reference to challenges their teen may face.
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7) Inside Out
Although this animated movie is about a pre-teen, the story and lessons are relevant and engaging for teens and adults as well. When 12 year old Riley moves with her family from Minnesota to San Francisco, she struggles with the transition. Her emotions (Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger) take center stage as characters themselves, grappling with adjusting to the newness and discomfort that often accompanies a move. Heartfelt and honest, this story walks us through what often goes on in our heads during tough times, leading us to see that sadness has an important place in our emotional wellness. Viewers are lead to see that are times it is okay and even healthy to be sad and that this feeling doesn’t last forever. Even if a relocation isn’t on your near-term horizon, this movie is great to show your teens (and other children) to introduce the topic of emotional awareness and wellness.
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8) Mean Girls
This classic Tina Fey teen comedy introduces us to the story of what happens when a new girl gets swept up in wanting to be popular and loses touch with her true, genuine self. It’s funny (you’ll see old SNL case members featured throughout) while still driving home the lesson of how important it is to treat others with respect and to hold your friends accountable to doing so as well. Plus, it satirically presents “high school drama” to demonstrate the levity in many of those situations, which many teens will find empowering. 
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9) Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens: Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in Stressful Times by Richard Carlson
You likely have heard of the best-selling series Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. This teen version stays true to the original. It is a quick read and can be done in small, bite size chunks over many sittings, so it is easily digestible even for teens who may not like to sit and read for hours. With practical, real world advice, it provides teens the coping skills to handle the often anxiety-riddled situations that moving (and high school in general) bring to the forefront. Nothing in here is rocket science, but it all serves as a very strong, reassuring reminder that things are going to be okay.
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10) Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV show
Granted, Buffy has a lot more going on than just being the ‘new girl,’ but this TV series also demonstrates the value of surrounding yourself with a solid support network and being true to yourself versus seeking popularity. The styles may be distinctly late 90’s, but the drama is sure to still engage teens today. (Note, this series is for mature teens)
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    Author: The EES Team

    We've moved, we get it. As children, as teens, and as adults. Domestically, internationally, and frequently. And now we're here to help others successfully settle in.

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