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Top 10 Best Books and Movies to Help Your PreTeen When Your Family Moves

10/3/2016

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Struggling to connect with your tween in the midst of a move or finding the right way to support them? Consider the impact of books and movies. Storytelling, no matter the medium, is a powerful tool in helping others who are in a similar situation feel a sense of camaraderie and connectedness. It also gives them an avenue to help process and talk about their emotions in the context of a 3rd party.  Books and movies can present coping skills, defense mechanisms, and time-tested learnings in a powerful and memorable way that pre-teens can then implement in their own lives. Talking to your tween is pivotal – particularly during a tough transition such as moving; so consider these great resources as a way to get the conversation flowing!
 
1) Inside Out
This Disney Pixar hit looks at moving through the feelings of 12-year-old Riley, whose family relocates to San Francisco for her father’s job. It’s an amazingly palpable portrayal of the emotions that control Riley’s thoughts (paralleling our own thoughts as adults as well). This movie provides a great foundation for understanding how we process and deal with emotions during times of change. Highlighting that emotions don’t have to be permanent and that there is a time and a place for sadness, this movie leads the way in our ‘To Read/Watch” list before a move!
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2) Moving Day (Allie Finkle's Rules for Girls, Book 1) by Meg Cabot (The author of The Princess Diaries)
Feisty nine year old Allie Finkle has her whole world turned upside down when she has to move. As she experiences the transition of the move and settling in, she does so in a way that many pre-teens will relate to. With humor, some stubbornness, and important learnings along the way, this book will help your tween feel comfort in knowing that she is not alone in this transition.
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3) The Kid in the Red Jacket by Barbara Park
Ten-year-old Howard Jeeter’s move presents an honest and humorous look at transitioning to a new place and trying to make friends. The protagonist in this well written and entertaining book helps boys who are moving know that they are not alone in struggling to adapt. Boy or girl, your tween is sure to relate to this book and love it!
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4) The Essential Moving Guided Journal for Pre-teens by Sara Elizabeth Boehm
With quizzes, games, and thoughtful questions and guided tasks, this journal takes an active, hands-on approach in helping tweens process their own feelings and experiences.  We recommend this book to all moving tweens, regardless of gender or location. This journal complements other forms of support and encouragement, helping pre-teens to reflect on their own move: what do they value in friends; what do they appreciate most; what are their goals after they settle in; and recording fond memories. This journal makes the moving process a more personal adventure.
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5) Slurping Soup and Other Confusions by Tonges, Menezes, and Gemmer Emigh
While moving within your own country can be very difficult, but moving internationally presents a host of other unique challenges. This book addresses those through 23 real life stories. These stories help visualize international moving through the eyes of those who have been personally been there. It will help you work with your own child to prepare and adapt before and after moving. 3rd culture/expat kids and parents will appreciate having this book with them for the journey!
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6) Anastasia Again! by Lois Lowry
From award-winning author, Lois Lowry, this book follows 12-year-old Anastasia as her parents move her from the city to the suburbs. Leaving all the people and places she knows so well to a new and strange world isn’t fun, at first, but it isn’t long before Anastasia falls in love with her new surroundings and experiences fun, new adventures. A heartfelt and entertaining read, even for non-movers, this book is a great reminder of the many new experiences and opportunities that await you after a move!
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7) The Ellie McDoodle Diaries: New Kid in School by Ruth McNally Barshaw
Ellie has moved and is struggling to make friends, be noticed, and find her place in her new school. That is, before she decides to spearhead a protest of the cafeteria that her classmates have been complaining about. A lighthearted read on conquering the struggles of moving in a fun (if not slightly improbable) way. This book empowers young readers, reminding them that sometimes you need to seize the opportunity and take initiative to find your place.
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8) Amber Brown Is Not a Crayon by Paula Danziger
This book is written from the perspective of those who are left behind by a friend or family member who has moved. Amber’s best friend, Justin, is moving away and they’ve gone from best friends who are inseparable to fighting all the time! Whether your child is moving or has a good friend who is moving, this book provides a wonderful perspective on how a move can affect everyone involved. It’s also a good reminder to your pre-teens that even though a move will be tough on them, it may also be challenging for their friends, who may not always react in ways that are helpful, even when they care.
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9) The Harry Potter series
After discovering his identity, Harry must become accustomed to new surroundings, new people, new powers, all while adjusting to being the new (and noticeable) kid in school. A great way for tweens to remember the power of sticking up for what you believe in, picking trustworthy friends, and believing in yourself.
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10) How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls by Donna Dale Carnegie
Making friends is one of the hardest parts of moving for most teens and tweens. What’s even more challenging is finding the right friends who will be a positive and healthy influence. In line with the Carnegie way of practical and clear advice, this book serves as a great reminder and teacher for older tweens and teens girls. Covering topics such as clear and positive communication as well as how to diffuse arguments and admit mistakes, it offers lessons beneficial for all stages of life, but is particularly helpful in the midst of a move when discomfort and loneliness can take center stage.
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Any books/movies that we are missing that you would recommend?
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Avoiding Relocation Stress Meltdown

9/1/2016

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Relocation Stress Meltdown, Relocation Anxiety, Moving Meltdown, Transitional Trauma—this condition goes by many names, but the cause is the same. You are moving—perhaps across the state, perhaps across the country, or maybe even to an entirely new country. The stress and anxiety of this type of upheaval can hit at any time, and it can last long after the initial stages of moving are complete. 
 
When Melissa and her family first moved to Cleveland, she was focused on getting everything in place: finding the right house; placing her 6th and 8th graders in the right schools and extracurriculars; decorating and setting the new home up again. Being an adult, a wife and a mother, she figured she could handle a “simple” move. But a few months into the transition, the anxiety and stress hit her hard. She had trouble sleeping. She was feeling nervous, restless and unhappy. She found herself comparing all of her new things and experiences to her old life, which made her feel even more sad and lonely. Her husband and her kids seemed to be adjusting to the move, but she felt increasingly more isolated and uncomfortable.
 
While the symptoms vary from person to person, Relocation Stress Meltdown (RSMx) can include physical symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, and high blood pressure, as well as mental symptoms such as irritability or depression. Some may experience an increase in panic or anxiety; others may feel more tension or seek escape in a variety of (healthy or even unhealthy) ways.
 
What’s going on? Moving is supposed to be fun and exciting! Your friends have moved, and you haven’t heard them complain about a single struggle!
 
Don’t be discouraged if you are having difficulties. You’re not alone. For many people, moving can often be more emotionally challenging than they anticipate or plan for. Does this mean moving was a bad idea? Absolutely not! Moving is challenging regardless of how organized or prepared you may be. It is important to be aware of the challenges you may face and recognize that they are a natural part of the moving process. Feeling anxious or sad is as normal as it is temporary. On the flipside too, it can help to remember the positives of moving: new opportunities, a fresh start, and new adventures.
 
Here are some practical steps you can take if you feel you may be struggling to adjust after (or during) a move: (Of course, if you are ever struggling beyond the point where self intervention and initiative will help, seek outside services from a therapist, support group, or medical professional.)

  1. Take the initiative to meet people—the sooner you start to build friendships and community support, the better off you’ll start to feel.
  2. Get to know your neighborhood. Drive around, see all the tourist sites, ask people for recommendations of their favorite places. When a place seems more familiar, it will also begin to feel more welcoming. Plus, you may find a few ‘favorites’ of your own.
  3. Take time to relax and support yourself. Do what you need to do to recharge. Carve out some “you” time - drink some tea, take a hike or read a good book. Call your best friend or brother or sister and talk out how you are doing. Write in your journal. Remember to grieve and process how you are doing, and then to take steps to move forward.
  4. Be grateful for what is going well. Every day, list three things that made you happy that day or that you are grateful for. No matter how small, make this practice a habit, especially during hard times. It helps more than you can imagine.
  5. Work to build a positive mindset. Nothing will help you more in times of change than to focus every day on the positives in your life and new situation. The opportunities before you are are likely why you moved in the first place, so focus on the adventure and work to see your experiences through the lens of “I’m learning and trying new things.”
  6. Learn patience and acceptance. Don’t try to compare your new life or neighborhood to your old location. Don’t try to make it something that it isn’t. Accept you new life for what it is, and take time to get to know it like a local. Even if you don’t think you’ll be there for a long time (or don’t want to be!), make the most of it while you are. This will go a long way in to helping you feel more settled and comfortable.
  7. Get excited about your new, fresh start and begin to think of ways you’d like to use it. We aren’t often handed a clean slate and the opportunity to begin again – enjoy it and think about how to make the most of it!
 
RSMx can affect anyone who is relocating, but it doesn’t have to ultimately define your move. With small steps, you can pull yourself out of the moving funk and begin enjoying your new adventure. Know that there will inevitably be setbacks and challenges, but try to start each day fresh and see how you can make it better than the last. Day by day, continue to find ways to make this new location your home, and soon enough you’ll find that it is. For more information on making your move in a healthy way, check out The Essential Moving Guide For Families or The Essential Moving Guide.

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The Ups and Downs of Moving as a Child 

8/9/2016

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“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” 
― Rodney Dangerfield
 
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Moving is tough. Moving as a child and having no say or control in the move . . . that is often even more difficult. A recent Washington Post article that summarized a study surrounding the impact moving can have on children highlights many of the extreme negatives about moving. Children thrive on consistency and routine. When this is taken away from them, they can wind up feeling unsettled, confused or frustrated. When you add to this the feelings of helplessness that can stem from the lack of control they have regarding their own life circumstances, the process of moving can be jarring and - in some situations - lead to long-term negative affects.
 
Moving, when accompanied by other significant challenging scenarios (e.g. divorce, death, financial struggles) can indeed have a significantly negative impact on a child’s life. It is important to be mindful of these potential impacts and seek help and support for your children during tough times, particularly if they are also accompanied by the jarring transition of a move.  Overlooked by the study, are moves that are for a ‘good’ reason like a new job or promotion. It’s worth noting that not all moves are the same and that choosing to move your family for a career opportunity does not destine your children to a life of unhappiness.  Despite the dark cloud that this survey places over relocation, parental involvement and support while moving – especially when done for an exciting new opportunity – can mitigate some of the downsides, allowing children and teens to reap the plentiful benefits of moving. In fact, according to a “Psychology Today” article by Nancy Darling, Ph.D. and Professor of Psychology at Oberlin College, “When parents support each other and work hard to make the move as easy for the themselves and their kids as possible, negative effects are minimized.”[1]
 
Moving beyond studies to personal experiences, we’ll let our President, Sara Boehm, take it from here:
 
“I have personally and in my our work here certainly found moving to be stressful and, at times, lonely. Frequent childhood moves created instability in my life that was difficult both emotionally and mentally. But looking back on it, I learned a lot and realized how much these moves shaped many of the great parts of my personality. I wanted to share some of the benefits that I (and others I have interviewed who moved as children) have found to be true in the midst of the challenging times of moving. We cover these topic areas in more depth in The Essential Moving Guide for Families, but they are worth highlighting at a high level here:”

  • Instills confidence – Making it through a move successfully (settling in, making friends, re-building your life) instills a sense of accomplishment as well as the confidence that you can make it through tough situations stronger than you began. Children who have moved (and, as noted above, have the benefit of that being the only major life change they are experiencing at the time) often report feelings of increased confidence immediately following this experience (and for years to come). They were faced with something challenging, and they know they had made it through successfully.

  • Increases your ability to handle uncertainty and new situations – Moving is an opportunity to deal with change, discomfort, and ‘newness.’ Change and ‘newness’ is challenging and yet constant throughout life. The more you are able to practice and become comfortable with adapting to change, the better off you’ll be throughout life’s regular twists and turns.

  • Helps you gain self-awareness – “The days you are uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself” – Mary L. Bean. There’s nothing like being on your own without the comforts of habits and familiarity to learn about yourself. You learn what is important to you, how your respond to challenges, and, most importantly, you learn that you are in control of how you think and respond to tough times and that you can change and improve your situation.

  • Provides opportunities for a fresh start – Every change brings a new start. New chances to try again, to reinvent yourself, to experiment, to practice, and to take risks toward self-improvement. This is one of the most refreshing and exciting parts of moving. When you move as a child or as an adult, you are given a fresh start to use however you wish. This clean slate is a gift, and when you can keep this optimistic attitude, you are also practicing and benefiting from the power of positive thinking.

  • Teaches you how to make friends and intentionally connect with others – When I have surveyed people on the benefits of relocating, the number one area I see jump out among people who have not moved is that they believe people who have moved have a better handle on knowing how to make friends. Practice makes perfect, and there is nothing like moving to put you in a position where you have to take the initiative, find people with common interests, and begin the process of building a friendship. It truly is a life skill worth mastering while you’re young, as it will benefit you for years to come.
 
No picture of moving is complete if it only focuses on either the negatives or on the positives.  Moving is much more nuanced and challenging than that. There are certainly low points, but there are also amazing triumphs and opportunities as well. If you find yourself moving as an adult or moving your family and supporting your children throughout this process, acknowledge the challenges and identify coping mechanisms to help make it through. Remember, though, to appreciate it and make the most of the benefits moving has to offer as well! When you look back on this time in your lift, the sad memories will be accompanied by some truly wonderful life and character shaping moments.


[1] “Moving is Tough For Kids,” Nancy Darling Ph.D., Psychology Today, 7/11/2010, 

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The Importance of Letting Yourself Be Sad After Moving

7/6/2016

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New faces, new places, new routines, and new opportunities: moving to a new city offers a fresh start and brings with it many exciting adventures and experiences. But, no matter your age, with it can come some sadness as you settle in that first year. Should you fight this sadness? Do your best to ignore or deny it? No one likes to feel sad, especially in a society that bombards us every day with messages and advertisements telling us to pursue happiness at all costs. Feeling sad can make us feel vulnerable or as if we have failed. But in reality, sadness is actually none of those things, and holds an important purpose for us during a move.
 
Disney’s recent hit “Inside Out” touched upon a topic that is very real to the millions of families who relocate each year. In summary, a mother, father, and their pre-teen daughter, Riley, relocate to San Francisco for the father’s new role there. Riley struggles as she leaves her Minnesota life behind and looks to build a similar life in San Francisco. Her primary emotions (Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust) go into hyper-drive as she adapts to the change. Joy, once the predominant emotion in Riley’s life, begins to lose her grip of control, and Sadness starts to take center stage. Much of the film is the emotions fighting this change, trying to force Joy back into the captain’s chair while pushing Sadness away. Riley doesn’t want to admit to her parents (or herself) that she is struggling; but it’s clear to viewers that she is.
 
Ultimately (spoiler alert!) Riley’s emotions realize that Riley needs Sadness. She needs Sadness to let her cope with her new situation, let her process the change and loss, and to help her in working through it. This doesn’t mean Sadness will have the reigns on her emotional state forever, but it does mean that without Sadness, it will be hard for Joy to return. The film’s end is a poignant reminder of our aversion to Sadness and the contradictory importance of it for our overall emotional health.
 
Moving is listed as one of life’s biggest stress-inducing events that can take place in a person’s life. No matter your age, moving means a disruption of the status quo. Of a life where you were comfortable knowing where to go, what to do, and who to turn to when in need. Grieving this ‘loss’ of comfort is not only natural, but also expected and incredibly necessary. Sadness and discomfort can hit at any time. You (or your child, teen or spouse) may be six months into a move and enjoying the new city, when suddenly the discomfort hits. “This doesn’t feel like home,” or “this doesn’t feel good anymore.” A period of (or many occurrences of) discomfort is typical but is certainly not indicative of the move being a mistake—it is just part of the process.
 
Now, is this an excuse to wallow in despair and negativity? To sit idly by and not make an effort to get to know the area and meet people? Absolutely not. And we are certainly not advocating for such a mindset. Much of your future success in a new location will depend upon taking the initiative to explore, introducing yourself to others, attending events, and working to establish yourself again. Allowing yourself – amidst your sadness – to remain open, accepting, and flexible will help tremendously as you settle in and make a new home.
 
It is important to acknowledge that moving and transitioning your life is tough. And sadness is part of that. When those moments hit, allow them to come. Sit with it, mourn your loss, but remember to accept it as a temporary discomfort. Suppressing sadness doesn’t make it go away. On the contrary, it can make it last longer or appear at unexpected times. Allow yourself to both experience sadness and then try to have a good attitude as you work to settle in.
 
We often learn the most about ourselves during trying times. Specifically, what matters most to us and what we are capable of achieving. You will also learn that you are often more resilient than you previously believed, and how transformative and powerful a positive mindset can be. Additionally, you will be able to use the experience of your pain during this time to better relate to others who may feel similarly in the future. This is a huge gift.
 
Many people believe that bravery is for the outwardly strong who show no signs of weakness. In reality, courage is not about the absence of feeling scared, nervous, or sad; but rather, courage is acting in spite of those feelings: putting yourself out there to meet new people, experience new things, and make the best of everything this new place has to offer. Sadness in moving (as is always the case) is not fun; but rest assured that it isn’t a sign that something has necessarily gone wrong. Be patient and accepting. Cut yourself some slack, and then set out to work through the discomfort to forge the life you want.
 
**For the purposes of this article, we are discussing everyday sadness, not clinical depression. If you ever feel that things are getting to be too much handle, don’t hesitate to reach out for help and talk to a medical professional.

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The Power of Expectations (When Relocating)

6/7/2016

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​Many recent articles have shed light on the relationship between our expectations and overall happiness. Specifically, it has been found that lower expectations lead to increased happiness. Why? Because if our expectations are too high to begin with, it’s less likely that they’ll be met. Thus when things are good, but aren’t as perfect as we hoped, we end up disappointed. Not to mention, it’s more likely for an event or person to exceed our expectations if they weren’t high to begin with, spurring feelings of excitement, happiness and overall contentment.
 
For example, imagine a child who is anxiously waiting to open a present. She is excited solely at the prospect of opening a present, regardless of what the contents might be. Now imagine, this same child then watches a commercial or knows a friend who owns the hottest new toy. She may begin to hope that this is what her present will be. Her imagination may begin to run wild. Perhaps the present includes this awesome toy as well as all the latest accessories that go with it. Or maybe her parents are taking her to Disneyland to go on the ride that toy was modeled after. What began as the prospect of opening a present has now become the hope and anticipation of going to Disneyland. No matter how thoughtful or wonderful the gift might be, the girl will be disappointed if it is anything but a trip to Disneyland. All of a sudden, what should have been a happy occasion turns into disappointment.
 
While the idea of ‘lower expectations leading to happiness’ has made headlines worldwide, the truth is much more nuanced. It means finding a balance between being hopeful, but expecting little. Between going after what you want while managing your expectations accordingly to be happy that you tried, despite the outcome. While this is true in all facets of everyday life, it is especially true for relocation, which has been listed as one of life’s top stressors and thus has a great impact on happiness and personal wellbeing.
 
Relocation typically involves major upheaval to every part of a person’s life (and often that of their family as well). For organizations that relocate employees, the goal is to relocate an employee who is focused on making the transition a smooth one and who is encouraged by progress along the way.
 
At EES, we believe that setting expectations empowers relocators to have healthy outlooks before, during, and (most importantly) after moving. Transitioning after a move can be simultaneously exciting, tiring, and sad. However, this is to be expected and not a sign of something being ‘off’ when sadness hits. Oftentimes those moving assume it will be hard during the first few weeks but then expect a new location to feel like home after a few, short months. When this is not the case, they can become discouraged or feel that the move was a mistake. In reality, moving (as with any major life change) can take up to 12 months to adjust to, and the ups and downs along the way are natural. Additionally, when relocators know what to expect, they can also better plan how to address obstacles as they arise. For example, if they know to potentially expect discomfort in their new surroundings once the excitement dies down, they can create a plan for getting to know the area quickly instead of allowing that feeling to fester.
 
What does all of this mean to you? If you are soon-to-relocate or recently relocated, do your best to equip yourself with information on what to expect. Talk to others who have moved and read blogs and advice books. Read for constructive information and weed out the pieces that wallow in the negative or shoot for sensationalism. Your job is to equip yourself to manage your own expectations and encourage yourself to tackle the challenges at hand in a healthy way. Also look for the benefits of moving to help encourage you when the inevitable challenges arise.
 
If you are an organization that relocates individuals, do what you can to provide your relocators with this constructive information ahead of time. At EES, we’ve designed our care packages with this in mind and believe that this simple, affordable gift can equip employees for a better move by helping them manage the emotional and mental challenges throughout their move. Happier relocators create happier employees and customers. Anywhere you can set them up for success in this process will benefit the company as a whole. Setting expectations in an encouraging and healthy way is a key component to a successful transition.

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Hiring Pro Tip: Differentiate Your Relocation Package

5/5/2016

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Does your company offer relocation benefits? Whether it is a lump sum payment or a comprehensive package (with packing, movers, a realtor, temporary housing or more), most companies recognize that taking steps to alleviate the stress of relocating for work pays off. Minimizing distractions promotes employee engagement and supports productivity. Employee relocation costs up to $100,000 per employee, but this expense is a necessary investment in a tight talent market where relocating the right talent to the right role is paramount for overall company success.
 
At Essential Engagement Services, we believe a company can differentiate itself as an employer of choice and achieve optimal benefits in a very straightforward way. By both acknowledging the strain that uprooting an employee’s life can cause and providing your employees with tangible support, advice, and encouragement, you can better prepare them for the transition ahead while also setting them up for success in their new role.
 
Our care packages are designed to guide and encourage employees at each stage of the move. Adjusting to a major life transition, such as a move, can take up to 12 months. We offer books and journals as well as 1-year access to online resources and advice across a variety of topic areas. Our extensive video content library features topics for parents of kids and teens as well as adults relocating without kids. How to tell your kids about the move, how to help them prepare for their first day or first lunch hour, and what to expect yourself, as a relocating adult, are all covered with care and personal understanding. With minimal resources needed, you can give your employees the gift of acknowledgement of their sacrifice and support for their upcoming success.
 
Instead of viewing your relocation package offering as a to-do item to be checked off a list, take the opportunity to use this benefit strategically to further enhance employee engagement. Your relocation package can serve as so much more. With minimal resources and effort, you can refine your package to:

  1. Send a message that your employees are more than just a number and are part of your corporate family
  2. Take the opportunity to start the onboarding process before the first day on the new job
  3. Support an often overlooked and under served challenge of relocation that can distract and disengage otherwise loyal employees
 
Feeling inspired? You don’t need to stop there! The more you can do to ease this transition, the better off your employees and your organization will be. Beyond care packages that focus on emotional advice, set employees up with others who have recently relocated to help build their support network and promote shared experiences. Hire a local realtor to provide a tour of the city and neighborhoods. Check in with the employee regularly to see how he/she doing. And consider providing city-specific resources as a means to acclimate the employee to the area. From a Zagat guide to maps of local hiking trails, small gestures can make a big difference in feeling welcome.
 
Take the opportunity, early on, to set the stage for success and to shine as an employer who truly cares about workforce well-being and success.

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Investing In Employee Emotional Wellbeing Reaps the Greatest Rewards

4/20/2016

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As a business, investing in your workers both professionally and personally is vital to ensuring productive, long-lasting employees. And while this is imperative throughout an employee’s tenure, this especially holds true when onboarding an employee to a new role. In fact, according to SHRM "Research and conventional wisdom both suggest that employees get about 90 days to prove themselves in a new job. The faster new hires feel welcome and prepared for their jobs, the faster they will be able to successfully contribute to the firm’s mission." When a role necessitates that an employee relocate as well, this heightens the disruption to his or her own life and thus the importance of helping mitigate this disruption to set the employee up for success.
 
This move – whether mandatory or optional - can often be emotionally stressful, physically taxing and financially draining. Offering economic support during this time is a logical (and likely the easiest) first step. It is not only a matter of common sense, it is a sign of smart business sense: It alleviates a serious burden, easing an otherwise difficult move and comforting an otherwise overwhelmed individual or family. In so doing, you will have a more relaxed - and logistically prepared - employee, who is hopefully eager to start his or her job. Lightening the financial and logistical load will certainly free an employee’s mind to focus more fully on their new workload.
 
Regarding employee productivity and longevity, however, companies oftentimes don’t recognize how crucial their emotional and mental wellbeing can be both on the business’s bottom line but also on employee retention. These less tangible stressors can have the most impact on an employee’s long-term success and therefore are necessary and vital investments for a company to make. This is especially true for employees who relocate with families, who each shoulder their own emotional and mental stressors that ultimately impact the family unit as a whole. Bear in mind that, according to the 2015 Worldwide ERC US Transfer Volume and Cost Survey, the top source of stress associated with relocation is "family resistance to the move."
 
This is our bread and butter here at Essential Engagement Services (EES). While logistical and financial assistance are incredibly helpful in making a move easier for employees and/or their families, once these areas are provided for, no other service or investment has more impact than that of looking to support their mental and emotional wellbeing. Companies that provide access to support networks and systems to address employee mental health, stress reduction, and familial well being see a significant improvement in employee productivity, mental stability and overall company ROI. With the help of EES, a company can rest assured that their employees have access to top resources and services for themselves and each member of their family.
 
The ultimate goal for any company is to ensure that their employees are able to handle day-to-day tasks without the upheaval that can come with relocating to a new job in an unfamiliar city or company. Unhappiness and stress can lead to increased disengagement from a project and result in subpar work; with disengagement, employee morale and retention suffer. By alleviating an employee’s logistical, financial, as well as emotional stressors, you are sure to have taken a holistic approach to setting them up for ultimate success and long-term employment. Remember, too, that less stress results in less sick days, lost time and squandered capital – an environment that is most efficient and effective.
 
Investing in the support of all aspects of an employee’s move is one of the smartest financial decisions a company can make. The rewards will be many, the dividends several and the personal satisfaction too great to count.

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​A Look at Families Who Relocate

3/17/2016

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Whether moving alone or with your family, moving and settling-in can be challenging. We focus quite a bit on the “family unit” here at Essential Engagement Services (EES) as it can have a significant effect on how smooth a relocation may (or may not) be. By “family unit,” we are referring to the trailing wives/husbands and sons and daughters who are also uprooted due to a partner or parental relocation. So why is each individual member so important in this process? Because each person has a direct impact on how successful (or unsuccessful) the entire relocating and settling in process can be.  
 
In a 2015 Worldwide ERC US Transfer Volume and Cost Survey, the number one stress associated with relocation was listed as “family resistance to the move,” affecting nearly 60% of those surveyed. Right off the bat – even before a relocation takes place – we know that ensuring your family members are adjusting to the prospect of relocation can either be the source of great support during this process or be the cause of extreme stress.
 
Similarly, once a family’s move is complete and everyone has physically settled into their new, respective neighborhood and home, each member of the family will expectedly be battling their own, unique challenges. Maybe father, Eli, is struggling to find a new job in his niche field or can’t seem to find a religious group/community that he fits into as well as he did in his previous community. Perhaps daughter, Michelle, is both adjusting to being a teenager at a new high school and is faced with making new friends while also getting good grades as she prepares for college applications. Meanwhile, the initial family member who prompted the relocation – Joyce – is tasked with building a strong work community in a new office that she is unfamiliar with while also ensuring her family is acclimating well and is happy.
 
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states “Moving to a new community may be one of the most stress-producing experiences a family faces.”
 
Relocation is a delicate balance of push and pull, both emotionally and physically, for a family. Think of this process as an Olympics’ Relay. Each team member plays an individual role, but if one struggles, the entire team is affected. And you can’t make it past the finish line unless each person has made it around his or her portion of the track.
 
At EES, we pay particular attention to the families affected by relocation. We have created customized tools, resources and workbooks to help each family member adjust to their own, unique challenges. We emphasize the excitement that can result from a move when a person feels mentally and emotionally supported. After all, moving can be a wonderful opportunity for both an individual as well as a family unit to experience new places, cultures, experiences or to meet new people and friends. But the benefits of a move can easily be overshadowed by the challenges and pitfalls of feeling lost, lonely or overwhelmed.
 
Our mission is to make these families feel supported and know that they are not alone. If you are interested in learning more about the tools we offer, visit our products and services tab or send us an email via the contact tab. 

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Academy Award Nominee, Inside Out, Sheds Light on Emotional Stressors of Relocation

2/25/2016

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The 2016 Academy Awards show will be honoring its favorite artists and films of this past year on Sunday night (February 28th), amidst bright lights and fanfare. While there will always be some differing opinions about who is most deserving of the golden Oscar statue, one film that could not be more significant and timely today is Disney Pixar’s Inside Out which has been nominated for “Best Animated Film.”
           
The film expertly combines a beautifully-crafted script with some very imaginative animation to tell the story of Riley, a young girl whose parents have to relocate their family for her father’s new job in San Francisco. Told from the perspective of her various “emotions,” which are brilliantly portrayed as unique little people living inside of her head, Riley’s story is an all-too-common one this day and age with our increasingly mobile society. While the financial cost of moving an employee and his or her family in the name of a new job opportunity can certainly be high for both company and employee, many people do not take into account the emotional cost of uprooting children, in particular, from their familiar routines, surroundings and loved ones to reestablish them in a new environment with new people and routines to learn. Much of a child’s self-esteem development is dependent upon a sense of confidence, continuity, and security, all of which can be greatly disrupted in a big move. Concerns over fitting into a new neighborhood, making new friends, and doing well at a new school are overwhelming enough, but coupled with the sadness of losing old friends, routines, and activities, a child will naturally experience the transition very differently than an adult might.
 
Inside Out does a wonderful job of portraying how things that may seem insignificant to us now —the realization that your new room doesn’t look like you thought it would, or the disappointment when the local pizza place in your new town puts your least favorite vegetable on your pizza—can feel magnified under the giant lens of a big move.  Furthermore, since one or both parents will be incurring additional time and energy stresses at a new job, the support system at home can be less dependable for a child. The film depicts Riley’s heightened Sadness, Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Joy as individual characters all debating and troubleshooting to help her navigate her new challenges as she is faced with them.
 
In the movie, Riley and her parents all rely primarily on their own emotions to help them navigate the relocation waters. The reality, though, is that many people can greatly benefit from external guidance and encouragement during this time as well. Essential Engagement Services understands the emotional stressors that come along with a relocation both for adults and children, and we also know that it can be easier to transition successfully with a bit of outside help to prepare those who are relocating for what they might expect and how to best navigate the challenges that come with this new crossroads in their life. At Essential Engagement Services, we offer an assortment of care packages and coaching to help both children and adults through the mental and emotional challenges of moving.
 
We couldn’t be happier to see a film like Inside Out take on the critical subject matter of a family’s mental and emotional transitions throughout the relocation process! After all, it’s often too easy to forget that while moving for work can be an exciting opportunity for employees and their families, there are always many more wheels in motion than initially expected. When attended to thoughtfully and thoroughly, much like Riley’s hardworking “emotional team” in Inside Out does, these wheels can move a family gracefully towards a much more streamlined, successful transition and a hopeful, new beginning. 
 
Visit http://www.essentialengagementservices.com/ to learn more about the products Essential Engagement Services offers to children and adults undergoing a move. 

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The Real Cost of Employee Relocation

2/17/2016

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In the blink of an eye, we are now in the middle of February, and 2016 is well underway. The holiday season has passed, and even the biggest procrastinators among us have either settled into the routine of our New Year’s resolutions, or given up on them entirely. However, for many people, the winter months were spent navigating the added challenges of relocating their lives and families for a job.
 
For some, employee relocation is rarely a topic of discussion. The conversation often begins and ends there, as a fact of life for many, and as a service to be outsourced for hiring companies. However, with hundreds of thousands of prospective and current employees relocating every year in the U.S., billions of dollars are being spent moving valuable employees and their families around the country. In fact, according to the Worldwide ERC, $12.8 billion is spent annually on corporate relocation costs. A single company can spend upwards of $100,000 to transfer a single, existing employee to a new location.
 
Now that’s a pretty big price tag. . . but is that all there is to it? You pay for an employee to move, hire the right relocation service to manage the move, provide a great realtor in the new location, and sleep soundly at night knowing you have checked all the boxes necessary? Not quite.
 
Relocating an employee comes with a significant price tag both financially (for the company) and emotionally (for the employees and their families). These employees and their families are faced with the real emotional and societal challenges of not only adjusting to an entirely new environment, but also transitioning into a new community with new friends, new schools, new colleagues, etc. Without the adequate support and guidance needed to help them transition successfully, the employee risks dissatisfaction and the company risks lower employee engagement and even potentially losing the employee.
 
Beyond the initial one-time costs of moving logistics, moving can carry with it silent costs that are often over-looked:
  1. Distractions in day-to-day tasks—mistakes can be made or solutions overlooked when the employee is pre-occupied with an unhappy teen or feeling like they are not forming friendships in their new location
  2. Disengagement from both work and from the company—as employees work to deal with their adjustment without guidance, they may feel removed from their work life and lose their previous sense of loyalty to the job and the company
  3. Unhappiness—dissatisfaction can be contagious and low morale can impact not just their work, but also their interactions with their team or direct reports
  4. Turnover—the risk of quitting or asking for a transfer back to their previous location, leaving a hole to fill and adding to company’s recruiting costs
 
Equally as (if not more) impacted by a move are the families themselves – the husbands and wives, sons and daughters who must jump through many hoops along the way to reacclimatize themselves to their communities, schools and jobs. And yet there is much that can be done and provided to them to help make their transition successful. Even employers themselves, whose businesses stand to reap ample rewards from the success of an employee’s transition, do not always recognize the advancements going on in relocation assistance and how addressing the transition challenges head-on can be beneficial for both employee and employer alike.
 
The emotional toll of relocation is the real elephant in the relocation room. The happiness and general support for an employee and their family is often underestimated and therefore inadequately provided.
 
At Essential Engagement Services, we aim to mitigate these emotional and mental stressors by providing employees all the tools, support and services they and their families will need to relocate as easily and happily as possible. We understand that employees and their families are a package deal, and the emotional wellbeing of all the people who are making the move is the key to ensuring a successful transition. And with a successful transition, an employee will likely produce better work and a company will save (and likely gain) financially in the end.
 
To us, this is a no-brainer. To learn more about our products and the services EES provides, visit www.EssentialEngagementServices.com.  
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    Author: The EES Team

    We've moved, we get it. As children, as teens, and as adults. Domestically, internationally, and frequently. And now we're here to help others successfully settle in.

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